respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
