im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
