walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
