Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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