the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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