im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
