God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
