I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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