Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
