like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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