Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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