Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
