He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
