just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry about my life...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
