the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
