i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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