If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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