I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They are going to name an STD after you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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