would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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