How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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