There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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