okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He did a backflip because drugs
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