tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Randomize
