Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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