good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
