I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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