is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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