he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
