Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize