Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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