The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
