I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
3 2 1 whiskey
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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