What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
