so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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