wrigley field is MILF paradise
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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