so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
