tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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