Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This house was built for laser tag.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
