So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
