Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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