Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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