I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
