Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
