im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
