it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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