Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
