I just pynch a tree in the face
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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