Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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