Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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