At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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